Is a successful single working mom as rare as a unicorn? It can certainly feel that way. You want to be a supermom, but you also have your sights set on financial stability, personal fulfillment and career. I’ve been there, feeling like I’m constantly walking a tightrope, trying to hold everything together without breaking. But here’s the reality: this isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up for yourself, your career, and your family, and constantly finding a balance that feels right for you.

I’m a mom to a 17-year-old daughter, and I know firsthand what it feels like to raise a child while pursuing a career. I was a single mom for many years before meeting my current partner, and I understand just how tight a single working mom’s day can be. It’s like a modern dance performance, constantly balancing school drop-offs, deadlines, business meetings, and trying to carve out enough time for her—and for myself.

There were years, especially after moving to a new country post-divorce, when I had two jobs—one that paid the bills and one I had just started, where I had to prove myself. So, I worked late nights and weekends—not for career advancement, but simply to put food on the table and keep us afloat.

Finances often come before career dreams for single moms, and let’s be real—women all over the world are still paid less than men. So, trying to make enough money to provide a quality life for my child, cover loans, pay rent, and still afford some travel, new gadgets, and a few fun experiences from one pocket—that’s a hell of a challenge. The struggle is real, and it takes willpower, guts, and nerves to redefine how I can be the mom I want to be while still pushing forward in my career.

It’s a daily juggling act, but I wouldn’t trade the challenge—because I was not just building a career, I was building a future for both of us!

Navigating Double-Faced Societal Pressures and Managing the Guilt

One of the hardest parts of being a single working mom is the external and internal pressure. Society often implies that moms should be the ones fully focused on their kids—constantly present, always available, and managing every aspect of family life. Yet, for many of us, this ideal is not only unrealistic but impossible and the guilt weighs heavily.

I recall, shortly after moving to a new country, receiving a call from my daughter’s teacher on her first day at school. She had missed the school bus and, not unexpectedly, was not permitted to leave without me. The request was clear: drop everything, and come pick her up. And there I was, trying to prove myself in a new company where no one else had kids, having already taken three hours off that very morning to drop my child off for her first day.

I knew full well that if I asked for another two hours off now, I’d risk being seen as the mom who always has something else to do, the one who wasn’t a good fit for the position. Thankfully, that time the teacher understood and arranged for her to get home safely with the teachers. But in that moment, all I could think was: How are we going to make this work? She must have been terrified—what kind of mom brings her child to a foreign country, with no safety net, no support, and works all the time?

But here’s the thing—as long as your child knows that they are loved unconditionally and that you are always thinking of them, whether you’re physically there or not, that’s what matters.

Raising Self-Sufficient Kids and Teaching Them Resilience

As a single working mom, you have to teach your kids independence, resilience, and the value of hard work. From an early age, I made sure my daughter understood the importance of our roles— I work and take care of us, and she studies and takes care of herself when I’m not around—while also contributing to the household in small ways, whether it was folding laundry, cleaning dishes, or packing her own lunch. It’s not just about preparing her to be self-sufficient; it’s about teaching her the value of empathy.

Kids, especially teens, are incredibly perceptive, so it’s okay to share your emotions in a healthy, age-appropriate way. If you’re tired, it’s ok to let them know that you’re feeling exhausted, but also that it’s okay to feel that way sometimes. After coming home late from work, exhausted, I didn’t hide the fact that I was tired. When I had a weekend off, I allowed myself to sleep a little longer and enjoy breakfast in bed. Kids learn a lot from observing us, and they need to see how we face challenges head-on. However, it is important to avoid making your child responsible for your emotional well-being. They don’t need to bear the full weight of your adult challenges.

Now, looking back, I realise I might have seen her as more self-sufficient than she actually was, and I pushed her toward independence she wasn’t fully ready for. But that was the only way for us to thrive. Understanding this now, I often thank her for all she did and apologise for rushing her adulthood.

Again, I’m not perfect—no single working mom can be. Admitting that not all of my actions were perfect makes me a real person, and us—a better team.

The Science of Juggling Work as a Single Working Mom

Financial stability is one of the most powerful things you can offer your child. It’s not just about paying the rent or buying gifts; it’s about ensuring that you can provide a future where your child can chase their dreams without fear of financial insecurity. However, doing this while raising a child alone can feel overwhelming. It might not always be easy, but financial independence is a cornerstone of your ability to provide, plan, and progress in life.

There’s a wealth of research showing that balancing work and motherhood can be challenging, but it’s also highly rewarding. According to a study by the Journal of Marriage and Family, mothers in the workforce report higher levels of well-being when they feel in control of their professional and personal lives. Finding that balance gives you a sense of purpose, boosts self-esteem, and ultimately enriches your relationship with your children. When you thrive, your kids see that they, too, can balance their aspirations with their responsibilities, a valuable lesson for the next generation.

Practical Tips For Single Working Moms Trying To Keep It All Together

Let Go of Perfectionism

You won’t manage everything perfectly (believe me), so it’s important to set priorities for the day, week, or month, and focus on what truly matters. Striving for perfection in every area while being a single working mom will only lead to burnout. Instead, concentrate on what you can do right now. The school performance costume doesn’t need to be homemade—you can buy it online, and that’s perfectly fine. The cupcakes don’t need to be Pinterest-perfect either. Kids have far fewer expectations of us than we often place on ourselves. What they do expect is for us to be there when it counts. Focus on showing up as the best version of yourself—not the most exhausted one.

Use a Keyword Method

One of the simplest ways to stay productive is by focusing on one thing at a time. When I’m working, I don’t take calls or answer messages unless it’s truly urgent. Similarly, when I’m having dinner, my phone is set aside, and I’m fully present. But here’s how we’ve made it work: my daughter knows that if she needs me while I’m working, she has to start her message with a keyword. Whether it’s “please print,” “call me,” “we’re out of butter,” or “I’m out to the stationary,” these keywords signal that it’s something I need to address when I have a moment.

It’s our way of respecting each other’s time—while I’m focused on work, she understands that I won’t engage with messages unless it’s necessary. If it’s something urgent, she knows to call me directly, which is a clear red flag for my immediate attention.

On the flip side, even though I’m always working, I make sure that dinner time is sacred. I don’t check my phone, and my full attention is on her. We use that time to discuss the day, plan for tomorrow, and just connect. If I’m expecting something important or time-sensitive, I’ll let her know ahead of time, before dinner starts. That way, she feels respected and involved, and it helps her understand how priorities work. It teaches her how to balance things, set boundaries, and respect time—important lessons for both of us.

Remember the Power of Saying No

You are your own best advocate. It’s okay to turn down extra work, unnecessary commitments, or events that don’t align with your priorities. And sometimes, it’s okay to say no to a movie with your child if you know that the work issues will linger in your mind, keeping you awake late into the night. Work is important. Your tasks are important. Your child is important. But the reality is, you are the only person who knows what needs your attention the most right now. And once you recognize that, you need to follow through on it.

Your kids will understand. They always do when we are honest, reasonable, and transparent. Saying no isn’t about neglecting them; it’s about giving yourself permission to prioritise what’s necessary for your well-being in that moment. Saying no is an act of self-care that preserves your energy and allows you to focus on what truly matters—not just in the short term, but in the long run too.

Get Comfortable Asking for Help

Whether it’s a neighbor picking up your child from school or a colleague stepping in on a tight project deadline, play the single working mom card with pride – don’t hesitate to ask for help. Delegating tasks can significantly lighten your load and improve your work-life balance.

Focus on Self-Care

If you’re not taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to give your best to either your child or your career. As a single working mom, it’s far too easy to put yourself last. But think about this: who will take care of your child if you burn out or get sick? Stress, dehydration, skipped meals, rushing through lunches, working late, attending networking events with little to no food, and managing your child’s sleepover parties can all catch up with you quickly. That’s why it’s crucial to keep the basics in check: proper nutrition, sleep, hydration, and some form of physical activity.

Self-care isn’t a luxury (even if you’re a single working mom)—it’s an essential part of keeping everything running. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritise moments of rest, even if it’s just a short walk, a quick bath, or a few minutes of quiet time. These small acts will replenish you, so you can continue being the strong, loving mom and ambitious professional you want to be.

For single working moms, the juggle is real. It’s not always easy, and it often feels like the world expects us to be everything to everyone. But it’s important to remember that it all not about being perfect, but about being real, being resilient, and being resourceful. It’s about showing our kids that they, too, can navigate life’s challenges with strength, confidence, and determination. So take a deep breath, trust yourself, and know that you are not only working or only raising a child, you’re building a future!

Your are a single working mom, it’s nor a superpower nor a punishment, take care of yourself.
You’ve got this.